Bench - A social disgrace

‘(‘Mrs. Kumar! Pati ka permotion kya nahi ho gaya, ye to andekha kar deti hai aajkal. Chakhaati hun mazaa’)Arre Mrs. Kumar! Zaraa idhar bhi dekh lijiye kabhi kabhi. Aap to humein bhool hi gayi hain. Na koi phone, na kabhi milna…’

‘Arre Mrs. Sharma! Aisi koi baat nahi hai. Agle hafte mere yahaan kitty party hai na, isliye thodi busy thi. Maine party ka theme rakha hai Kahaani Ghar Ghar Ki. Isliye beautician ka appointment lene gayi thi VLCC mein.’

‘(‘Moti kahin ki. Parties mein jaake aadha khaanaa khud khaa jaayegi to aur kya hoga? Koi VLCC make-up ke liye jaataa hai? Mujhe ullu samajh ke rakha hai?’) Badhiya hai. Aur sunaaiye – Pinky aur Billu kaise hain? Kitna percentage banaa? Meri Radha ne class top kiya hai.’

‘(With a smile which looked more like a grimace) Mubaarak ho! Pinky aur Billu ko exam ke just pehle viral ho gaya tha isliye dono ka purrfaarmens achcha nahi tha.’

‘(‘Haan haan, kyun nahi! Ye kyun nahi kehti ki tere dono bachche nikamme hain?’) Oh ho! Bechaare...zyaadaa serious to nahi tha na? ’

‘ Bhagwaan ne bachaa liya. Hum Apollo le gaye dono ko. Teen din rakha wahaan par. Thankfully dono ko kuchh nahi hua.’

‘(‘Haan haan! Viral fever ke liye Apollo! Ghar mein sulaa ke paracetamol diya hoga. Jhooti kahin ki’) Bhagwaan ka lakh lakh shukar hai ki dono sahi salaamat hain. Agli baar exam zaroor achcha hoga.(‘Meri Radha ka. Tere bachche waise ke waise hi rahenge. Agli baar pakka kahegi ki Jaundice ho gaya tha dono ko.’)’


‘Aap bataaiye. Mr. Sharma abhi bhi Connaught Place office mein hain?’

‘(‘Khud to iska pati paanch din pehle head office mein gaya aur keh to aise rahi hai jaise saalon ho gaye’) Haan, wahin pe hai.’

‘Oh. Mr. Kumar aaj kal head office mein jaate hain. Kehte hain kaafi aalishaan hai.’


‘(‘Permotion ki baat na bataaye to raha nahi jaataa hoga aajkal isse. Zabardasti ab mubarak kehna padega. Hmph!’) Arre Mr. Kumar ka promotion hua na abhi abhi?’

‘(Smiling proudly) Haan.’

‘Mubara Ho! To woh ab Senior Manager ban gaye hain?’

‘(The smile totally wiped off, replaced with a glare) Senior Manager??? Wo to paanch saal pehle the Senior Manager. Abhi wo Deputy General Manager ban gaye hain.’

‘(Mentally laughing a.la Kaumolika and the vamp brigade) Maaf karna. Yaad nahi tha.’

‘Hmm. Aur Mr. Sharma abhi kaun se post…’

‘Arre chhodiye in office ki baaton ko. Hum housewives ka kya lena dena. Aur sunaiye, koi nahi khabar?’

‘Umm…kal Mrs. Ghosh se mili. Unke ladke ko pehli baar dekha. Zyaadaa kuchh poochhne ka time nahi tha. Woh market jaa rahi thi ladke ko lekar. Ayan naam bataayaa. Kaun si class mein hai?’

‘Class mein? Arre nahi. Woh to Bangalore mein naukri karta hai.’

‘Naukri?? Itna badaa hai? Dekh ke to bilkul nahi lagta.’

‘Par maze ki baat ye hai ki aapne usse kal dekha. Maine dedh mahine pehla dekha tha. Tab bhi yahin tha. Mrs. Ghosh ne kaha tha ki chhutti pe aayaa hua hai. Company kuchh kaam nahi de rahi par pagaar de rahi hai, isliye woh ghar aa gaya tha’

‘Kya? Dedh mahine se bina kaam kiye pagaar? Bhalaa aisa kahin hota hai? Mujhe to lagta hai ki usse koi naukri nahi mili hogi aur naukri dhoondne gaya hoga bangalore. Par naukri mili nahi aur waapas aa gaya aur yahin pe baitha hai.’


‘Hmm..ho sakta hai. Par Mrs. Pal unhein kaafi saalon se jaanti hain. Keh rahi thi ki Mrs. Ghosh ka ladka padhai mein achcha hai.’

‘Ab school mein to kaafi log achche hote hain, par baad mein kya pataa(Jaise tere bachchon ka haal hoga). Agar itna hi achcha hota to call center mein to naukri mil hi jaati na?’

‘Haan, wo to hai. Ab kya bataayein – aaj kal ke bachche. Kahaan maa baap ka sahara banana chaiye inhe aur dekho, kaise bojh ban jaate hain. Padhai likhai mein to aajkal kissi ka dhyaan hi nahi rehta. (‘Siwaaye meri Radha ka. Tere bachche tujhe le doobenge.’)’


‘Haan. Naseeb mein jo likha hota hai, usse kaun badal sakta hai? Achcha Mrs. Sharma, mujhe abhi jaanaa hi hoga. Tommy ke khaane ka waqt ho gaya hai. Phir milti hun. Aap aanaa hamaare ghar.’

‘(Bachche to sambhaal nahi paayi, kutta kaise sambhaalegi? Show-off kahin ki)Zaroor zaroor. Bye bye! Phir milte hain!’